Why does Ginnifer Goodwin always look like she's stuck on slow motion on the red carpet?
Why are Charlize Theron’s Dior commercials so incredibly terrifying?
Why is Tami Taylor SO AWESOME?
Is Sarah Hyland a wee adorable nymph?
Why does Ryan Seacrest look like a frosted leprechaun next to Heidi Klum’s Tower of Blonde?
Why does Melissa McCarthy always collaborate on her own dresses? (Because she’s AMAZING.)
Why does Tina Fey always look at the Seacrest like he’s an uncomfortable rash? (Because she’s AMAZING.)
How many times is Guilana Rancic going to talk about the manicam? “You walk it in like it’s a red carpet.” (6 so far…)
Who can I murder to get Sofia Vergara’s ass?
Is Amy Poehler doing post-breakup cleavage? (You GO, Boobs Mama!)
Why is E subjecting us to a Ryan Seacrest-Julianne Hough-Guilana Ranic interaction That. Is. Never. Ending?
Why did Elizabeth Moss’s stylist let her out of the house dressed in valances by Laura Ashley?
Why is the E handler letting Christina Hendricks bend over in that dress? (…..oh, I see why.)
Can I watch Michael J. Fox without tearing up because he KICKS ASS? (No, I can not.)
Can Claire Danes describe her pregnancy as something that isn’t giving her career “much interference”? (Yes, she did.)
Is Lucy Lui the sexiest cyborg ever to grace a red carpet?
Is Zooey Deschanel OH DEAR GOD CAN’T BREATHE…..(drowning in a flood of twee right now.)
Did Ricky Gervais just call Seacrest a Stepford Wife and Seacrest laugh like he was kidding?
Did Jane Krakowski just awesomely answer Guilana Ranic’s question of “Are you going to have more kids or is the store closed?” with “I wish my store had later hours.” (She did.)
Is Julie Bowen deliciously insane and deserving of her own talk show? (MAKE IT HAPPEN, SEACREST.)
Are Seacrest and Ranic waxing poetic about the red carpet as if it happened 20 years ago? (They are! And it is marvelous in the eyes of the world.)
Some more questions….
Nate: Who is Amanda Bynes?
Me: Uh, she's this child actress who is driving around LA, running into people.
Nate: (Stares at me)
Me: Did you know Guiliana Ranic just had a baby with a surrogate?
Nate: Why would you tell me this?
Photo Credits: Getty Images